On Conformity and Happiness

One of the things that I have done while determining what I want to go to graduate school for is to pay more attention to my work environment. Working at a law firm has revealed quite a bit about the way in which people romanticize both history and their present situation. I have noticed that a number of younger attorneys seem to be unhappy with their position. As you move up the ladder, you seem to become more happy. It is certainly possible that this is attributable to earning a higher salary or simply not having to do some of the painstaking work that younger attorneys have to do, but I have a feeling that it is more a result of a molding that happens as people become more accepting of their environment.

I think that it is almost certain that the major factor in our development as people is our environment - where you grew up, your parents, your friends, etc. Each of those things help determine our perception of reality. As a child, you were probably told not to talk to strangers because they can be dangerous. Obviously, not all strangers are looking to do harm to young children. I think that as a result, though, many individuals grow up being unwilling to carry on a conversation with someone they don't know. Or perhaps, they are simply unable to because they have not ever done so before. The idea that reality is constructed in part by our environment is obvious to a number of people. The things we are taught, shown, or told change how we see the world. The part that I find interesting is how this relates to job selection and happiness.

As a young associate, you are likely to work extremely long hours, you will be expected to be on call 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, and you will receive very little of the praise when it happens for work you've done. You are easily replaceable. There are a number of young guns who have graduated from law school who could come in and do your work. You have to continue to push your body to the limits of its intellectual and physical capacity. Stress is always high. Many of these people aren't happy. They don't like their work. They do it because they think they have to - to pay off student loans, to support a family, or simply as a status symbol. I think the truth is that a number of these people could find work doing something else that they enjoy more where they would be able to apply their passion and still generate the same type of income they can as an attorney. For some reason, they don't.

These are some of the most intelligent, analytic people in the world, but they continue to do things that don't make them happy. Why? I think that after a few years, you become accustomed to it. You're supposed to work 70-80 hour weeks every week. You're supposed to spend your time at home working. Everybody does it. That's what a good attorney does - they work, relentlessly. You're told by everyone around you that that is how life is supposed to be. And slowly, you become alright with it. The hours don't seem to matter anymore. The stress? It's just another part of the job. The environment and the people change who you are.

I am not saying that there are not people who enjoy this lifestyle. That would be false. There are. I just think that the number of people employed in professions that they do not actually enjoy is much higher than the number of people who truly enjoy what they're doing. I think that a number of people have just begun to accept that work because it's what they should be doing.

This thought is what is deterring me, at the moment, from applying for law school. I do not want to lose my individuality to become just another attorney who has learned to accept his role because that's what he should be doing. I think that every person has a responsibilty to themselves to live their life exactly how they want to live it. You should be able to look back and say I would do that again. That would be the ultimate affirmation of life. My goal is to find something that I can enjoy and where I can be myself. I want to be able to have individuality and freedom. We should be willing to challenge the status quo in order to create a better environment for ourselves to live in. It is certainly a risk to follow your dreams. There will always be a fear of failure. But what is life if we are unwilling to take risks? I think that the only way we can honestly be happy and satisfied is to remain committed to who we are. You do not have to become the statue that others want to mold. Be willing to think independently and question why you are doing what you do. In the end, you will be able to say that you lived the best life you could and that's really what we owe it to ourselves to do.